Posted by on Feb 4, 2011 in blog | 159 comments

We are starting by hanging out in the bar right in front of the Studio, and quite frankly they made some killer Martinis there.

I understand that this whole season we played the game of making Marcel look like ( justified ) an idiot, but the guy can cook, and is a good kid at heart, and quite franlky i dont give a rosy Ass seeing him going home again as Recap of the previus episode, plus we make a clear statment that @Tom_colicchio was horrified by his dessert….‚Äùamong the worste things he did ever eat‚Äù….. WOW Tom….did you ever tried French Mussels ??


@mikeisabelladc is keep repeating the word F#@K as he speaks with Angelo and it made very clear that he dont like Marcel, i agree that it could be a better outcome if Marcel was not the Capitan of the Team in Restaurant war, i also add to it that an even ‚Äúbestest‚Äù outcome wouldve be if Marcel wasnt even in the competition… but thats just me.

@chefantonia ‚Äúthe mussels lady‚Äù state that Mike is Abrasive and rude as she inform everybody that she has a list of people that she would like to see dead, and Mike is on top of that list……WTF ??? That’s not little abrasive Anotnia ?? Leave @mikeisabelladc alone, he’s my friend, go harvest your Mussels please……

I love you girl but you look like Betty-Crocker-misses-im-friend-with-everybody and then in a silent way that only a hitman does you make sure that anyone around you get whacked !!!! Not nice dear…..not nice…..

Mike you’re on TOP OF MY LIST as well….. the list of people i would love to invite at my Bday Party….. and Marcel and Antonia are in the other list, ‚ÄúMy favorite people in the whole World List‚Äù with my former Mother il Law and the Tax Collector Officer…… J

We are walking in the kitchen and there there is a HOT yellow visual and a HUGLY black one…. Padma and Isaac. Not that Isaac is a bad looking guy, but is very Pale and with a whole black coat it look like a Big Giant Oreo Cookie, Angelo is kissing his butt already….. Tied pants and Camel toe away !!!

My fear is that he will go banana ( Isaac ) and he will challange us in stripping him naked and wrapping him in something like Prosciutto slices or some weird challange involving food that you actually can wear…..

Padma will present her Jewelry collection and just to prove a point she is wearing a 35lbs necklace that i wouldnt give away for free to anybody, sorry Padma, i really dont get Fashion, im only italian, but she is very beautifull and she can pull this off, on the other hand Isaac will present a collection inspired from XEROX MACHINE, i am very unaware that now XEROX is into clothing J when i was younger they were doing Printing machine !!!

Anyway… IT’S FASHION WEEK !!!!! @mikeisabelladc and @richardblais i will buy you two 2 dress suit very VERY Italian style inspired by EPSON (just to piss Isaac off)…..

As Isaac explain the challange @angelososa keep saying yes with his head, but i guarantee you that he HAS NO CLUE of what’s going on….. guarantee it !!! As a matter of fact he will later on go in the back and Vomit in a bag.

Carla was a model and im still wonder why she didnt stick with it….weekends off….. jet set…. glamour and fame….. runaway…. and now what ?? She is a carreer changer, but it make no sense to me, i wanna become a SUPERMODEL now that i see what kind of work a chef does…. anyway !

I am Italian so i decide to follow my heart and my principle….. ‚Äúif you cant convince them confuse them‚Äù BOOM. Done !! I will make him so confused that he actually will like my dish, and ill come up with something to write on the plate J

BTW, in this moment as you read, i am stopping to go give food to my Turtle !!!!

Here i am again…… everyone is really focusing on how to Mess UP this challange, Carla carve a Cucumber and fill that thing with PEPTO BISMO , Richard goes banana and all suddend Antarctica meets Wonderland, Antonia since there is NOT steamed mussels available decidet to build a House on a tree, Tree loose his mind and does on the plate a Chess made out of salmon and some green puree, Dale serve a cutting board of leftover……

Angelo…..lets talk about Angelo:

1) He cant even spell the word CROCODILE and he ended up writing CROC ADILE, wow.

2) He wasnt feeling well and after been gone for 10 minute he come back with a bag of vomit and pretend to blame Roberto Cavalli’s Croc Adile for it….. thumbs Down !!!!!

‚Äú Style for me is not to wear a cool dress or own a piece out of the newest collection of a great designer…. my style is the way im living my life everyday‚Äù….. yes i wrote this, i dont recall smoking Crack but hey….. you never know !!!

Tiffany think that im full of shit and then she present a bowl of dirt and she says ‚Äúfor me dirt is beautiful‚Äù…. whatever. Tiffany i know that fashion is an optional that you can buy but till you dont have it lets not talk about fashion, please.

Isac dont like @mikeisabella salmonella Egg Yolk and tell to Antonia that he dont like BIG NUTS….. to me hard to believe, but lets keep moving J

Isaac freaked out with Angelo going Charles Manson on him….. althought i believe that he likes to get little tied up he really dont like Angelo, i dont think he’s into camel toe too much , anyway….. here we go with the good news !!

Top 3 with Richard and PEPTO BISMO cucumber, and Wonderland Meet Antarctica wins…. Now did you guys see Richard keep thanking god and Isaac ‚ÄúWOW thanks you, so much, thank you soooooo much‚Äù for the winning ??? Richard i like you devotion to TOP CHEF but this food wasnt even edible…. relax, youre hiperventilating….. !!!! Love you

NOW LETS THE SHOW BEGIN !!!!! The whole Al capone dressed like family walks in bringing with them the chef…. odd picture but hey…. ITALIAN CHALLANGE !!! Rao’s Marianra sauce for me at Whole Foods is delicious, almost as much as the Bertolli one, i still go with Bertolli cause in Italy there is not RAO’S brand…..

I am 100% italian so im happy, Mike Isabella is Half italian so he’s happy, Tree is the Black Italian so he very happy and Antonia is Half french and she is REALLY HAPPY !!!!!

We get to talk ½ hour with them and decide how we will ruin their memories about family reunion…. bring your guns out WE GO TO ITALY !!!!

He challange us to cook an Italian feast and as he was explain the rules to us Antonia was in the Bathroom and she didnt hear that, the she comes back and explain what Antipasti, Primi and Secondi is….thanks Antonia, without you we wouldve been lost….. then she give us a run down of what italy is about….

Antonia can i ask you something ??? How many times you’ve been in Italy ??? Ooops…… sorry, let’s go there together, you and me, we have great Mussels coming from the coast of france……

Anyway after listening to them we are going to plan and shop at Whole Foods, ill bring out memories of them around food, thats what i do….. i started to cook after i set my grandma on fire when i was 5…. food for me is memories, good one, for my grandma ?? Not soo good !! J

Antonia keep talking about how much italian she is as she shavinf fennel for her Mules Mariniere…. typical French dish from South of France, right by the Mediterranean coast……

Carla do a Soup….what ??? Minestrone is NOT an Antipasti, trust me Gumbo Queen im Italian, if i serve minestrone as appetizer my grandpa will send me to rehab….. Tiffany set her polenta on fire and Antonia do a French inspired dish…. Antipasti dont look soo good tome, but they taste good so i can only take all i just said back and shut up, althought they said that Carla soup can be easily be found in Wisconing….. maybe there is an antipasti J

The Primi is up….. Mike Isabella decide to serve his Rigatoni very al dente, but they are too hard and he will end in the bottom, Dale decide to do an Asian Inspired dish with Fettuccini Noodle and it dont live up to standard of Antonia Mules Mariniere, Tree do a risotto little to thick for Colicchio…… everybody is pissed off and tonight the Bracco Lady tell Colicchio that he’s not getting laid tonight and Tom laugh J he know he will !! lol……

We are ON !!! Everybody ask me question cause Antonia is nowhere to be found….. Richard tell me that i am a Magician and i LOVE HIM TO PIECES…. Angelo serve a very tasty dish, i liked it a lots !!

We all do very weel and actually Anthony Bourdasin say that my polenta washed away the stain of a bad meal and then he add thats thank to my polenta the world is a better place to live….very touching, very nice of him. Kudos point for Lovie Dovie Bourdain !! J

Mike teach everybody about make Gnocchi…..i was sleeping so the second in charge took over J

From now on im extremely disappointed of the Outcome of the challange, i will take BravoTv out of my will and i will start to root for the FoodNetwork, Antonia is a great Chef but if a Bowl of steamed Mussels and some shaved fennel beat An Overnight Marinated Chicken, Braised till the meat fall off the bones with a Polenta served in a Cheese wheal, THEN i am in the wrong businness …. simple as that.

Good luck to you Antonia, put those on the menu, im very happy for you, im actually quite disappointed that you didnt win AT LEAST 20.000$ for this challange….. i shouldve done a Bowl of steamed Mussels in the finaly of Season 5, maybe Hoesea wouldnt be a winner by now.

TOP CHEF ALL START, just saying…… love you Antonia.

Tree im sorry you left, i wouldve sent home Tiffany with a Polenta teriine or Carla for the Minestrone served as Antipasti….. you guys should really go to Italian Rehab. Anyway i had fun. And for the first time i dont agree with the outcome of Judges decision, Loraine tonight IS NOT GETTING LAID !!!! BOOM.

Antonia is very proud and very excited, im happy for her and her family, she is a good girl and a better chef, im taking Mussels off my menu, as a matter of fact the unified reaction when Antonia walked into the Stew room and announce the win sounded like REALLY??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME ????

Good Job, just dont brag about it J muah !!