Posted by on Feb 10, 2011 in blog | 107 comments

Welcome again to my recap, AKA the best Recap served ONLINE !!!!!

Tonight will be very emotional for me, i will get kicked out, so ill be basically in tears….. and i mean from laughing, when i laugh to hard tears run out of my eyes.

I mean @JimmyFallon, what a better way to go…. can you imagine if it was somebody like Martha Stewart or Barefoot Contessa to kick you out ?? I mean….. you’re sad already that you got kicked off on national television that at least have someone fun and nice to hang out with its much better !!

Think about it, and im asking this to all the boys out there, if you HAVE TO get run over by a car, would you prefer a Good Looking smart woman drive or a Stupid Ugly Ass guy ?? See my point ?? At least tonight ill get runned Over by a nice person….

Anyway….lets start…. and one more thing, as you probably undestood already im NOT a fan of Martha Stewart nor Barefoot contessa…. nothing personal, i just dont dig what they do J

We are all at the bar hanging out and someone propose a toast to Antonia’s Mussels Mariniere…. and we HAVE TO BE HONEST HERE, there is anyone out there that REALLY think that Antonia did deserve to WIN after 13 CHEF left ALL AGREED that what she made was a French Dish ??

Anyway, lets move on J , Dale is beating himself up with a stick of Pancetta that later on will bring home and cuddle with it cause he’s sorry that last time at rao’s he made it Blend…. im asking Antonia to walk me trought the making of the french staples and OFF COURSE she refuse it by saying that she dont want to share the best kept secret….‚ÄùHow to win an Italian challange by making french Food‚Äù.

@Mikeisabelladc is a sore loser but hey, im sore too, freaking mussels ??? Really ?? @chefAntonia you should get a show on Food Network and call it BareFoot Antonia….

And we DONT serve MUSSELS with Fennel in ITALY…im sorry @ericripert , this time you’re wrong…. Pack your Knife and go !! J

We walk in the TC kitchen and there is a bunch of Fondue Pots, and @richardblais come up with a theory that believe that his mom and dad where partying NAKED at a FONDUE PARTY…… REALLY ?? Richard what the F*#@ ??? EVEN IF IT WAS TRUE you are not suppose to say that your mom was naked at a Fondue party…. come on professor !!!!!!

Fondue dont excite me and Padma ask for us NOT to make a Banana dipped in chocolate fondue….. cause is sooooooo 70es, Antonia is worry cause she is planning to do a Bouillabaisse, which is a French Fish soup but since she is Betty-Crocker-Let-Me-Play-Nice-with-everybody-even-if-they-dont-like-me she is afraid that she will loose Kudos point regardless of the deliciousiness of her French Dish….. she got a point.

For some reason hearing padma talking about dipped Banana is distracting….. Angelo looked worry starting with maybe is thinking to make a Camel Toe dipped Fondue….. Antonia she is making a Jewish sandwich and Richard was in the Bathroom as padma was speaking and when he come back he will make a banana for Padma, althought she said that she will quit banana for a while, she is on a Chocoalte free diet, but she can have Banana, that what i undestood.

I use to go Skying in Cortina D’ampezzo and i remember having cheese fondue with little bread dipping and i got inspired by that, now if you asking me where the Caviar got inspired by i have no freaking clue….

Angelo is kissing the camera’s ass as always and it play the perfectionist role by saying that he wants to be inspired by the diversity of his cooking…. Angelo you have a Camel Toe, you are diverse enough, just breathe and do a simple fondue already !!!! by the way here the link for Angelo’s song, ‚ÄúThe Camel Toe‚Äù :

Copy and paste the link up here to hear the Camel Toe Song.

Angelo is running behind and he feels he wont make it, hes also sweating like Howey in the previous Top Chef season, Padma look at Richard, Richard look at Padma and the he say something on the line, Padma i like to play dangerous sometimes…. now for some reason i believe that Blais ‚Äúdangerous fun‚Äù and Padma ‚Äúdangerous fun‚Äù are like black and white…. VERY DIFFERENT !!!!! Ill choose Padma fun anyday, for some reason i dont see richard as a party animal J

Tiffany D. Find some weeds and somehow she managed to smoke on national TV…. Pretty much all the Fondue taste like crap, but chef are very pride and will never admit that !! But somebody has to win, Fabio, Tiffany and Mike on the bottom as richard is trying to convince us that he would be in the winner circle if was a regular Judge to decide and not us…. Richie i love you but you starting be a little cocky, we know you were the runner up of your season but this one is yet to be win…. relax and carry on J

Mike call Dale a Monkey and Tiffany is not happy to be on the bottom, Tiffany you know what ?? Shut it….

And not Richard we are NOT intimidated by your tecnique, we just dont undestand them, and most of the time nor do you J

The Top 3…. Dale, Angelo and Antonia are the Top and Dale will go to see my friend Tony Terlato in Napa Valley, good for you man !!! J

Im wearing a GOT MILKWEAR Tshirt, which is my own line of clothing made out of 100% Milk Protein, and will be available in USA in few months….. but about this i will let you know when the day is coming J

Its Cell Phone SHOUT OUT !!!! Jimmy Fallon Style, we need to shoot random pics on the screen and whatever we nail we will cook it for his Bday Party!! J

Im up aganist Antonia, we both shoot with the camera and the first thing she yell as soon as she got the pics is YES YES MUSSELS !!!!! Antonia is Beef Tongue but if i were another 50 times to try you might couldve end up with Donkey Penis instead J lmao !!!! Mike Isabella was VERY happy and Antonia is also happy i hear that she asked for 2 Tongue so she couldve borrow one for home….. i mean for our dinner at the house JLMAO

Carla wish to shoot for Chicken Pot Pie and the really gets it, and i do now believe that she either did or is doing now some really heavy medication, she look like she is about to calm down, when she finishes to dance around Jimmy like a mad chicken.

We were told that Jimmy family will have lunch with us and then sent to whole food for shop, Carla believe that if she win she will be reconnized as force to take in consideration for the title, but as far as my perception if she keep acting like a LUNATIC ON CRACK all she will be considered for is a urgent push toward a menthal hospital…. BOOM.

An Asian Guy is making a Philly Cheese Steak, An Italian one is making a Burger and an American guy is making Ramen Noodle….. WTF ??? Jimmy youre confusing us !!!

The we have a commercial for Buitoni where we eat some ravioli and then richard does a speech about how much he need to win… boring. Richard overworry and is not funny, im going to bed.

Now al suddend the UGLIEST GAYEST moment on TOP CHEF HISTORY !!!! Dale and Mike are in bed as Angelo is performing a full check in on his Camel Toe, and as if that wasnt enough already Dale point out that he has an avocado in his pants….. i didnt know that in Asia you called avocado what we call Hezelnuts…. Angelo is little tight down there but i see everything but an avocado….. maybe since we are chef is already chopped for a Cobb salad…. but i agree with Dale, Angela is a beautifull Lady J

We are heading to Colicchio’s Kitchen and Richard has an affair with Antonia by teaching her how to make her Tongue melt in her mouth…. this is getting little PG75, Dale is helping Richie in flavoring the Ramen and Carla loose her mind, i mean completely running around like a chicken without the head, she is really stress full to watch J

I dont know how her Husband does when she loose her mind……

I made a cheese sauce that noone ever seen before, probably cause is crap ?? Maybe, i didnt mind it, and Beside Jimmy Fallon Dad noone like my Booger, Burgers, Hamburger….. or whatever you want to call it i dont care it did taste good to me, little dry ?? Maybe….. im not Arguing with that, for my Grandpa my Grandma was fine…..if you know what i mean J LMAO !!!!

Richard is bragging again about how good he is…… Tiffany did a Tortilla Soup instead the Chicken and Dumpling…..

Carla…. Carla really what happened to you ?? Not even DALAI LAMA Dale is willing to risj his sandwich by leaving it in the kitchen with you, Chill out or you will get an Heart Attack…..

Angelo is using my Burger buns cause the bread he picked was shit and its ok, your welcome Angela !!! Plus the big funny DUDE is begging Jimmy Fallon that ANGELA will go there at the table and PULL HIS PORK…. WOW…..

Carla deliver a Cake and we cant sing cause all of you know that if you sing HAPPY BDAY on TV you have to pay 60k to to Marylin Monroe….haha !!

TOP 3 Antonia Tongue, Carla’s chicken without head and Angela please pull my pork !!!!! Carla wine the Challange and she is officially on Crack Cocaine, carla there is great Rehab here in Hollywood and i love you so much i beg you to stop, i never saw anyone jump and act like a mad parson like you do, i undestand excitement but thats playing fool, keep it together, did you ever heard about Brand Equity ?? you just lost half of your Value there……Angelo go back and pull Jimmy Fallon’s Friend Pork J and Antonia didnt let the Tongue go for snother 3 hours…..

On the Bottom is THE BEST BURGER IN MOORPARK please follow my restaurant @cafefirenze and @osteria_firenze !!! Also Dale with his saltier than SeaWaters and Tiffany Tortilla Soup instead of Chicken Dumpling……

I think an Average Burger should beat a Tortilla soup that was meant to be a Chicken Dumpling and Dale Cheesesteak was NOT EDIBLE because of the salt…… you ask me….wrong decision, but hey, im ONLY a contestant and i guess in the world of TV was my time to go home i guess.

I dont care ablout the outcome of the show, all i REALLY CARE IS HOW MUCH ALL MY FOLLOWERS MEAN TO ME, you guys gave me Goosebumps !!!! I felt Loved and all of you that Stood Up for me THANK YOU !!!!!!!

One day youre on the MOON the next day you look at the MOON from the bottom of a sink, if i made it this far in this COUNTRY for you guys should be a walk in a park, you guys are the only shadow standing in the way of your own SUNSHINE !! J

And now an ANNOUNCEMENT !! I love you SOOOOO MUCH THAT I WILL KEEP LIVE TWEETING till the end !!!! J




FYI, did you saw how desperate Padma’s face was when i was leaving ?? Just saying, maybe she had some second thoughts about Blais’s Banana………… CIAO !!!!!!!!!