Posted by on Feb 18, 2011 in blog | 93 comments

Let me start by saying that i could not be more happier than this…. gone thanks to Jimmy Fallon !! I LOVE IT !!

But what i love even more is that Chef like @richardblais and @mikeisabelladc are talking about me and using kind words like…. impressive….unexplainable, i respect that soo much, that’s why the both of yoy are my brothers !!

I love you guys, and also thanks to Carla to repeat what i said and i confirm…..‚Äù I do Paesant food‚Äù yes Gang, that’s what i do, and i miss you guys already i really do, even i i always make fun of Carla crazyness and Antonia love for french food and clueless about Italian one, in reality is that making a little fun about you is what i got left, cause i wish i was there with you still.

Do i believe i couldve won the All Stars ?? Absolutely NOT. Did i want to give it a try ?? Yes, that i would have to agree…. but im too stubborn and i have to much pride in me for me to stop bringing out my ‚ÄúITALIAN‚Äùside…. Colicchio is right when he said that all i do and breath is Italian food…. YES I CAN.

One more thing @tom_colicchio, later in the episode youll try to be funny with Bourdain and Jokes about ‚ÄúSouped Out, Souped Up….‚Äù i did smile….. but please you stick to the cooking and Judging and tell Bourdain to stick with Smoking and be a food writer….leave the funny guy role to me….. nice try but the funny guy role is not for noone of you….at the end you both guys are twice as much the chef i will ever be…. right ?? Agreed, so lets stick to cooking fellas.

Now time to get into the Quickfire……

BTW, i didnt ask for Richard help cause i didnt care to prove how good i am to listen to someone better than me in what they do best…. can i do a Burger ?? Yes ??? Then ill stay…… i cant ?? Then is ok ill go home…… but ill never take credit for someone else Job….. i will Not have Dale make my Chicken Noodle Soup for me, I will not have Carla Helping me with a Gumbo or Antonia helping me with French Mussels….. if i loose or win its only up to me…. ladies and gentleman please stop asking for other ppl help….

DO you know the meaning of COMPETITION ????

Carla want to win TOP CHEF ALL STARS, i know she has the skills for do so, but if she dont tone it down im afraid that shell have a Nerve breakdown…… but today THE COOKIE MONSTER will be louder than her !!! J

Dale you are right 100% ‚Äú We are all winners‚Äù is a common phrase among losers…… Winner never loose, looser never win…. they are the same ?? NOPE !!

So finally we get to the Quickfire and Padma she is speaking like she just smoked a pound of weeds…. words are not making sense and then all suddend THE SMURFS are showing up !!!!!! but only one is Blue !!! What the hell is this ?? Why guys the Smurfs are purple and red in this country ????

So anyway as Padma is speaking Carla is pretty upset cause she is realizing that the Cookie Monster is louder and screams more than her….. Elmo is like Elvis in Richards House and the other one is kind of the Mediator among the other 2.

ITS COOKIE CHALLANGE !!!! i wish i was still there, i always buy Martha Stewart Living and i know about 7000 cookie recipes, i mean…. do even exist soooo many cookies ???? i dont know how she always come out with 35 new recipes….. anyway, im a big fan of Martha cookie and i wouldve totally make The Blu Nightmare fall in love for me, for once without using my accent !!! J

Antonia will make Chocolate Chips cookies and Richard is doing a Vegetable Minestrone Shortbread….hahahah !!! Dale tell the world that Mike Isabella is a cookie Monster and pretty much call him Big Ass……

Padma is hanging out with the tribe of puppet and she seem pretty comfortable as far as conversation level, great mind think alike J

Antonia cookies they look like 12 inches Dinner Plate…… ant the puppet prefer eat a towel than finish Antonia’s cookies, Dale mix chips and Chocolate and the monsters keep eating the Towel…… Richard Try to kiss the Puppet Ass but they turn him down cause they ask for cookies and he gave them Minestrone Ice Cream…… Mike Isabella realize tha he wont be a baker anytime soon…… and Angelo dont get it why the SMURFS are throwing the cookies at him…. Angelo they dont like you, simply as that.

Now BEST MOMENT IN TOP CHEF HISTORY……. ELMO tells Antonia that her cookies LOOK LIKE SHIT !!! ahahahahah i mean really, i felt bad for Antonia, that was mean ELMO !!!! If you say so again we will send you at the Cirque Du Soleil and we will have the Tiger play with your hairy red costume.

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE !!! They have pretty much to destroy TARGET……. and as they trash the store they have to cook for 100 Sleepy Employee at 3am.

Now lets start analizing the whole picture here…… Angelo will get lost shopping for womens lingerie, Tiffany is from a small Town in texas and she is going right away grabbing some Designer Purses cause in case she won win she can open an accessories store in her town….. i wish she was saying sometimes before where she is coming from cause i dont remember J , Carla is remodeling her kitchen by loading the cart with new appliances and Richard is sprinting up and down but he run funny….. im wondering if he has a rush in between his leg or just he didnt had any rooms for bananas in his cart so he decide to place them up in his……..

LET CONTINUE HERE…….

Mike Isabella realize that he will not run a marathon any time soon, he prefer keep sitting and enjoying the cookie monster, Carla i start to believe that her spirit guide will pull off this challange cause she is REALLY shop for Furniture and she has no clue what to do as far as food….

Dale is ironing the sandwiched and Richard is laundry the Salad as Mike Isabella is using a vacuum to marinade the steak….. REALLY ????? THIS IS AWESOME !!!!!

Now lets analize ALL the dishes:

Blais Professor Richard, Pork Tenderloin is BUTT UGLY but delicious….. just like my dish in episode number one, Bourdain just forgot the delicious part…. whatever smartass !! Colicchio like Bourdain joke and i think he is choking on something and it look like is laughing…..

Dale IRONED sandwich and Tomato soup is pure Genius, they can say whatever they want, even Ming Tsai is making fun of the Iron Chef (althought he didnt even get close to win his trial for it ) tecnique but im telling you right now this kids has a future as House mate if he wants to drop the chef businness , plus he dont need any Urine Test…. how about you Anthony ?? haha !!

Carla soup is very Bland….2DIMENSIONAL, if she wouldve spend time of cooking instead of bying furniture and writing Hallmark Xmas card she wouldve had a much better soup…..

Antonia choice is ballsy, 100 egss is no joke, i think she is trying to redeem herself after open steaming mussels….. :-) BTW i bought a present for Antonia’s daughter, a turtle VILLA !!!!! Please Antonia call my restaurant and let me know when youre there 8055320048 love you !! J

My brother Mike make Fresh Coconut Soup and Padma blast him about the fact that in Target there is no Fresh Coconut…. what do you know Padma ??? Are you trying to tell us that you actually aver step foot in Target ?? Really ??? Well Mike isabella had fresh coconut….. he took it out of the refrigerator section and doesnt really get fresher than that honey…… so just eat it and move on.

Tiffany make a Jambalaya that is not a Jambalaya…..like last time she made a Dumpling Soup that was not a Dumpling soup….. why we even ask for certain dishes is then they get to do whatever they want ??? All she did right is to wear a Mary Poppins Hat….

Angelo potato Soup is very salty….. and he wears short, so people will focus on his knee Cap instead of the Camel Toe… J BTW i AM NOT the one that brought his up, and im happy for Angelo that he likes to show off whatever he got there…. happy for him J Angelo you know i love you J

Everybody is tired, they want to go to bed, Bourdain is in a Nicotine shock and he has to go to smoke outside, and everybody get the heck out of there. Tiffany decided to keep the hat.

BTW in agree with Bourdain we should run some Urine test, tonight Antonia< tiffany and Carla are up... they are playing with Stuffed little dogs....

TOP 3 Richard Fair, Antonia Fair, Dale Super deserved fair….25.000 BOOM !!!!!!

BOTTOM…. Angelo, Carla and Tiffany….one things Tiffany i respect you soo much but i dont like the Beaumont card….sorry, regardless of where you come from LIFE IS NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE or WHERE YOU FROM….life is about HOW BAD YOU WANT IT. Period. I still respect you but you lost Kudos Point. You can be from NY or Los Angeles or Italy and be an Idiot, or come from Beaumont and be a Genius….. nice try.

Angela goes home !! Im sorry, you will be missed, Carla im happy you stay cause i like have fun/ make fun of you….youre very entartaining…… Tiffany you need to step up cause the Little city in the middle of Nowhere wonmt work all the time, still love you girl.

And NEXT EPISODE ??? IM BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK !!!!!!!

Gang i love you soo much and make sure tha next time youll stay tuned !!!!!

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